To Jump or Not to Jump....

This weekend is a journey to small town USA - otherwise known as Ludlow VT. A jaunt that I didn't want to take because I was too busy and too jaded to be away from it all.  My bff owns a condo here and she invited us.  After much deliberation I decided to break down and go with hubby and youngest.

This afternoon we went to a rope swing. How much more quaint can you get than that? A rope that leads to a lake.  Very Norman Rockwell. I thought I was going to watch the kids have fun.  Instead, I got a lesson on life -- on facing your fears -- or being comfortable enough in your skin not to.

There are thrill seekers and there are those who play it safe and there are those who fall somewhere in the middle.  I know that I am not a thrill seeker, and I am quite comfortable in that knowledge. Never was -- never will be.  I am a thrill seeker in other ways, but not in the physical thrill seeking kind of way.

I don't do rides that dip (I once freaked out on Epcot's Norway exhibit).  I've never been on Space Mountain and the thought of bungee jumping or sky diving make me ill. I don't climb mountains or ski, snow or water. I can get up and talk in front of 1,000 people, but that physical thrill seeking just isn't my cup of tea. But I digress...

So off we went with 5 teenagers:  3 thrill seekers, 1 middle of the road, and 1 play it safer. C, the bravest of the thrill seekers and only boy present (my son -- a play it safer, chose to go hiking rather than have to say he didn't want to swing) quickly took the rope and swung right in. He continued to do so until his twin sister A took the rope, hesitated a bit, and away she went.  Thrill seeker #3 (K), who had never swung before, took the rope..... hesitated a bit, and decided she wasn't ready. She handed off to her sister N who is middle of the road (although I didn't know it at the time, I figured she was just like the other 3).  N hesitated, swung, but didn't let go and swung back, barely missing a tree, and gave the rope back to her sister K. K took the rope, swung and away she went. Exhilerated, she was hooked. This gave N the courage to go, swing and as she let go of the rope, held her nose and went into the water.

In the meantime, C, getting braver with each swing, was twisting and diving off of the rope into the water.  K also started twisting with gusto, and A followed suit, although a bit more reserved.  N just did her swings bravely in, but had no desire to twist and turn.

(See the kids jumping here: http://www.facebook.com/louisedicarlo)

Each one of them clearly demonstrating their outlooks on life by the way they approached the water. I asked the oldest M why she wouldn't go in. "Oh no Aunt Louise, I'm not sure I could hold onto the rope long enough, and I'm afraid I'd let go too soon and fall into the rocks." I totally identified with her. Even as a child I would have never swung the rope.

The difference between now and then is that then I would have felt defeated, feeling inferior for not having the courage to face my fears and have fun like the others. Today, in fact, right now as I am typing, the adults have gone back with the kids each to have a try at it. When one adult asked if I was going to go, I thought about the fun I had watching, knew there was no way I'd do it, and thought about how inspired I was to write about it.  "Nah" I said, "I think I'll stay behind and write."  I feel good about my decision. 

As a side note, M and my son went with them, both saying that they didn't want to swing.  When M came out and had on her bathing suit I asked her if she was going to try.  "We'll see Aunt Louise."  I'll keep you posted!

Just in.... Son (who insists that I report that he has swung before) and M did not go in!!!

Your mother would be SO proud

Today I was doing some customer service work for one of my clients. I had written a blog post for my business site awhile ago about online etiquette. I have been doing customer service online for close to 15 years (don't try to do the math - you know how old I am!) My experience is that people are extremely brave behind the face of anonymity. I have been in charge of teams of people and had otherwise intelligent people say the nastiest things to me - as their supervisor - and then expect no ramifications. They always stammer when confronted on their rudeness and when pointed out that they would never speak to a superior, or anyone, like that in person.

That brings me to today's scenario.  My client happens to send a decent amount of marketing emails. I am not expected to answer people who send nasty rude emails because they think our emails are stupid or they wish to be removed from our email list. I usually just remove them and do not even answer since they don't want to hear from us anyway. Today was different. I am tired of people not using the same manners they would use face to face OR even worse yet, maybe they don't have any to speak of. It is time for me to do a little Miss Manners!

I am plowing through the weekend worth of emails when I come upon the following, sent yesterday:
"Go and f*** your mother     you a**h**e     STOP sending me s**t

I want to reply (which is my favorite reply to rants like this) Your mother must be so proud... I think it, but I don't dare type it. I remove this member from our list and, still bothered, reply with the following:
"Thank you so much for your kind words about my mother. You have been removed from our mailing list."
Louise

Feeling good about my response, I continue along the emails when I find another email sent hours later from the first email yesterday saying...
"just f*** your mom a**h**e"

Ahhh I see they were having a good day. Knowing that I replied to the first email and don't want this email to go unanswered, I continue the "kill em with kindness" crusade. I reply again saying,
"Again -- thank you for your kind words."
Louise

As I'm ready to sign off, I see that I have a new email from my favorite buddy...
"look brother or sister i am trully sorry about those words i mean it     really sorry"

I giggle and know that I have made a dent in teaching this person a lesson. I decide to continue the lesson.
"Apology accepted.  Have a great weekend."  Before I even hit send I receive another email saying,
"no problem ma'm   sir"

I feel good that we've seen the light. This person will think twice before sending an email like that to an "anonymous" person.

I decide this is worthy of a blog post and I start typing.  Wanting to use the exact exchange I sign back into the email to start copy & pasting and see one more email from my friend...
"ohhh thank you so much and you have a great weekend as well
i am happy you accepted my apology"

Ahhhh - their mother would be SO proud!

Mama gets an iPhone

I am a Capricorn. Capricorns by nature tend to be pretty serious folk. I don't appear that way to the outside world - I am outgoing and vivacious. But inside my head - I am pretty serious. I over think way too many things. The flip side though is that I am sometimes incredibly impetuous. That was very much the case with my latest purchase (doesn't it always involve a purchase?)

On the morning of June 24th, I decided to get up early so I could quickly get in and out of the Apple Store to pick up my brand new iPhone4 which I dutifully pre-ordered on the morning of June 15th (yes - I remember the day because I put it on my calendar so I wouldn't forget). I live seconds away from the Apple Store so I set my alarm and set out to get to the store a few minutes before it opened. I figured between setting it up and a few people in front of me, it would take no more than an hour.

Imagine my surprise when I actually saw a few cars ahead of me turning into the mall parking lot. I got worried when I saw a LOT of cars in the parking lot. I was horrified when I got into the court to find two HUGE lines.. one for unreserved, and one for pre-orders. I made my way to the end of the pre-order line and  tried to assess the waiting time. From my calculations I figured 2 hours. Right!

I'm back so what did I learn

I ended my digital cleanse on Friday and I thought I would be up and online at 9:01. The truth is I was exhausted from the night before and didn't rush back.


I don't know what I was expecting. I got a good amount of welcomes and ribbings (and a nasty comment said in jest that I chose to ignore), but it was very non-eventful. It made me think about an article from one of my favorite bloggers/writers Gretchen Rubin (author of the new best seller "The Happiness Project"). Many months ago she wrote an article on Unconscious Overclaiming. "unconscious overclaiming; i.e., we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills relative to other people’s." I think this is especially true with our time online.  So I guess I expected my return to be memorable.


I've been asked a lot about what I thought my digital cleanse accomplished.  I didn't learn anything new... everything I experienced I had already known.. maybe I had just forgotten about it since I have been enamored with social media since the mid 90s.  That's a long time and, social media has been my "mistress" since day 1. I thought I would accomplish a lot more, and I thought I would do a lot more without the distraction of social media.  I did however, become re-introduced to a lot of things that led me to the computer in the first place. This is not unique to me - I'm sure everyone can relate...


1) A wife and mother is not supposed to expect remote control time. The family was not pleased to have someone else requesting tv time.
2) I do not have enough seating area in our den and my "presence" during group time made things even more tight.  My kids did survive sitting on the floor just like I did when I was little.
3) I think I have adult ADHD. I cannot complete a project from start to finish without numerous distractions. Without social media, I just found other things to use as an excuse.
4) I do not need to let people know what I am doing every minute of the day.  It is fun doing things and enjoying them by yourself.
5) As much as I enjoy my virtual friends, my family and IRL friends are pretty awesome and I need to make the same time for them as I do for everything else.

With hours to go - I WANT TO CHEAT! Day 7

Let me explain - if I had the evening I had tonight earlier in the week, digital cleanse or no digital cleanse, I would be tweeting/updating/linking/texting and anything else you can think of.

It started with a friend of mine saying how nice it would be to drive into the city together, she got her daughter tickets to see Nick Jonas (insert daughter's scream) and the Administration. I don't have a teenage daughter, but I am not dead so I know who that is. I immediately asked if she would be up for a play - Bye Bye Birdie and as she was saying sure I was researching tickets  - and much to my delight, found 2 tickets center row orchestra (5th row to be exact) to go see John Stamos (insert MY scream). I have been wanting to see this play since it opened.

Now  - I follow @JohnStamos and he always says "If you come see the play, let me know." I wanted to tweet and let everyone know I was going, but refrained. We went to dinner first, put her daughter & a very responsible young lady in a cab and went into the theater. I was dying to post a picture from our seats we were so close. I took a picture but refrained from doing anything with it since I only had to wait til morning.

Intermission came and I oh so wanted to let my friends know - but my hands were tied. Against the rules and for the first time this week I thought that this digital cleanse was absurd.  How stupid to just not post something so exciting.  But I didn't. The play was fantastic and I told my friend that I had every intention of meeting John. I told absolutely ANYONE who would listen that I was on Twitter and that I was supposed to let him know I was there.  Hey - whatever works. I got a security guard to show me where to go wait, I had another guard take my business card (which has every single way to get me on social media) to give to him. I got pushed to the back, but when I saw him come out of the door and tried to make my way to the beginning of the line, I was too late as he was already a few people down the line. This required something to get his attention. I started yelling "John - Twitter, I follow you on Twitter." He immediately stopped and came over to talk to me.  I handed him a card and said, "You must follow me so I can tweet you a picture."  "Are you funny?" he asked.  "Yes I am and I am a top tweeter from Long Island."  Oh this dratted cleanse I thought to myself. "Well, that is quite an accomplishment" he laughed. He signed my Playbill and said he would follow me (insert MAJOR internal scream).

I turn around and see if the friend got my picture with him and she says she got his picture, but not with me.  Damn - I run now to the end of the line and wait patiently for him to make his way back to me.  When he gets to me he says, "Hey Twitter" and I ask him if we can do a picture. As you can see - he did, and then as he disappeared said, "Talk to you on Twitter."  You can bet that my FIRST tweet will be to him as I end this cleanse... and for @JohnStamos, if this digital cleanse wasn't ending tomorrow at 9AM I would be on there tonight tweeting about this totally awesome night!!!

Day 6 - No spring in my step

I didn't wake up singing today.......... in fact, I had a hard time getting up.  Why? Because I didn't get to sleep that early last night. I didn't tweet, post, update, read or waste time online. I have no one to blame but myself. I worked a little too late. And I'm getting sick. I have a headache and my stomach hurts and my throat is scratchy. None of which has to do with social media.

The day kind of dragged, it was a 13 hour work day and I missed not having a distraction. I lived, but I missed it. I did get a call from the BFF asking how I was holding up and updating me on some of our friends. She is being protective and making sure nobody is talking smack (is it cool to say that anymore? If not, don't get me started - that's for a future post).

It's getting old.......... texts coming in that I can't answer, updates talked about that I don't know about - we live in a digital world and it's not fun being the dinosaur.

Day 5... no peeking allowed

Wake up, get out of bed, put a comb across my head............  LOVE that Beatles song and today I woke up singing it. NOT because of my cleanse - but because I am going to sleep early. This is surely something I can continue after January 8th. Sleep.... it's a beautiful thing.

As for the cleanse, it is starting to get a little old.  Not because I miss the social interaction (which, I most certainly do) but it is starting to interfere with business.  The inconvenience of having to look up a phone number when a text message comes in, when I can hit reply in 2 seconds is annoying. Not being able to answer an email that has come in from my phone because I shut down the work email just 2 minutes before a colleague emailed me looking for help is a little disconcerting. That was the closest I've come to cheating since that first day... a colleague emailed - "L if you get this email, write back, I have a question."  Now - I could have called, but I didn't have the phone number.  Email addresses have replaced phone numbers for a lot of people. I will answer it first thing this morning.

On the friend end.......... I got a call today from one of my best Twitter buds calling to see how I was doing. Of course my wonderful iPhone was being all temperamental and the call didn't come through so I got a VM, but it was good to know I've been missed but the last thing she said had me giggling, "We know you're peeking............"  LOL I'm not peeking :-(  I'm DYING to peek... but it is against the rules and I promised myself after the first day that I would and could do this and follow the rules. We know you're peeking....  for the first time this week - I am looking forward to Friday...... and fighting the urge to peek!